KOL Limmerick Contest

These are my finalists of the limerick contest I held in The Kingdom Of Loathing.
www.kingdomofloathing.com

There once was a poem contest
That brought in the brightest and best
We felt it our duty
To write verses of beauty
Then trashed them and sent in the rest -CrazyAkbar

So, I got this big bump on my head...
I was lucky to not end up dead.
But everyone keeps telling me,
that its affected my memory...


So, I got this big bump on my head... -Slacker King

After drinking a bit too much Scotch,
I suddenly looked at my watch.
It turned out I was late
For an important date,
so I jumped down the rabbit hole and all the laws of rhyme and reason fell apart before my eyes. -Bagpipe with bendy bits

A man of mercurial wit
Once invited a young girl to sit
But in so many chairs
and with such insane hares
That she shortly decided to quit. -Bagpipe with bendy bits

there was once an evil bear
with little paws so fair
they would get dirty
and sometimes they hurt he
so now I carry him everywhere - KoL Miners Daughter

There once was a shark from Peru
Who's fins had turned rather blue
He said to the Hatter
I know not what's the matter
and he bent down to tie both his shoe...s -Hatter

There once was a student from Fiji
who played on the team at Bemidji.
He sat round the clock
In the penalty box
For trying to score with a squeegee. -Ray Whup

Shinitensi would give us a test.
And challenged whoever's quickest
But the games best appeal
was not the meat from the deal
but seeing blue elf in a dress -Tiny Plastic GrimmSpoon

There once was a mad hatter
who worked as a baby satter
he took many bids
to sit on some kids
and made them all a little flatter -KoL Miners Daughter

a unicorn and kangaroo
have once planned escape from the zoo
but the wily mad hatter
made all their dreams shatter:
he infected them both with the flu! -greengrapes

You acquire an item: disease

There once was a small tasty orange
Whose juice got squeezed through a syringe
In the arm of a guy
Who got punched in the eye
And fingers slammed in a dooorhinge -russianspy1234

The clock, moving faster and faster,
Does not move so fast for mad hatter.
with him holding his brim,
of his hat, oh so trim,
He relaxes without any chatter -DelGato232

as a kid i was kind of thinnishk
but then i ate me some spinachk
I then saved a go'il
who then rocked my woi'ld
Now I squint, but im strong to the finnishk! -GrimmSpoon

The was a hobo in an alley.
His last name was O'Malley.
He took a swig.
From what looked like a wig.
Then he added another to his tally. - Bannana

There once was a coder named Jick
Who came up with a devilish trick
He'd make a web game
With a short, catchy name
That gets you hooked on it quite quick

The people, they flocked here in droves
To play figures with no ears or nose
Such simplicity!
And guess what, it's free!
Fight hoboes with axes and bows!

But Skullhead (that's Mister to you)
Approached Jick with a query or two
"How do you make cash
Or refill your stash
If these people aren't paying you, dude?"

Oh Jick, how he laughed as he said,
"Why Skully, you must be braindead!"
You could work hard all day
For cool stuff, but folks say,
'We'd rather pay ten bucks instead!'"

And then Jick's plan was unfurled
If he got cash from each boy and girl
Who was playing online
The resulting cash fine
Would let Jick take over the world!

But the server costs keeps him busy
For the players might fall to a tizzy
If their game went awry
They'd sit down and cry
So Jick runs around till he's dizzy

So if players play each day or two
His global plan may never come true
Disco Bandits or Clubbers
You're still freedom lubbers!
A world-saving adventurer is you!! - Tyrran

There once was an Orc of the Frat
Who was hung like a Siamese Cat
His "paddle" was barbed
Impossible to garb
Safe sex was impossible with that. - Stower of Thrones

There once was a goblin of Knob
Whose mother thought him a slob
She boiled his boxers
and r0xx0rd his s0xx0rz
But incest makes baby jesus sob. - Stower of Thrones

A Hatter as mad as could be
Liked to dip pocketwatches in tea.
When he spread on some butter,
And they called him a nutter,
"It's plexiglass, silly!" said he. - Baltar

There was once a man from Cobb's Knob
Whose foot was beginning to throb.
He went to the Doc,
Who exclaimed, in his shock:
"Why, you've got a corn on your Cobb!" - Baltar

I once met Nosferatu,
while he was getting a tattoo.
Stifling a laugh,
I asked for an autograph,
He wrote "Son, I'm coming for you." - justinARMS

-back-

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